Moving between two worlds
It was the middle of summer. A warm, sultry night. I woke up and found I couldn’t move except my eyes. For a moment I thought I was dead. Yet I felt that I was in my own bed. I turned my eyes as far to the right as I could and looked for my love. It did not work. I strained my ears and his calm breathing confirmed that I was still next to him. Then it happened, I felt myself come out of my body and a magnetic force pulled me into the universe.
The wisdom of your body speaks
All the emotions we experience are actually physical reactions of thoughts of your mind. The emotion arises where body and mind meet. It is your mind, or rather the wisdom of your body that speaks. I regularly explain in yoga class that not only your brain has a memory. Actually, every cell in your body has a memory. By observing yourself and not identifying with your thinking, thoughts, and emotions, you become a spectator.
That’s how I floated above myself that night, like a spectator. I saw myself and my partner in bed and went further and further into space. It felt wonderful. I surrendered to this strange, new experience. Still ignorant as a small child, full of wonder and without fear.
Fear is often about the future
The emergence of fear is actually separate from real danger. Anxiety comes in many forms, such as uneasiness, worry, tightness, nervousness, or tension. These forms of fear are not about what is happening at that moment. Often it is about the future. For what could possibly happen, while at the moment it is not the case at all. For example, fear of loss (for your home, partner, health, or job), or fear of failure (during an exam or a job interview), fear of being hurt, and so on. In fact, it all comes down to the fact that we are afraid of death, writes Eckhart Tolle in his little book The Power of Now.
I saw galaxies and felt peaceful and calm. There was no fear. I was drawn to a great light. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to get there, even though I knew it wasn’t my time yet. How long did it take? No idea. There was no sense of time. At some point, I felt myself coming back into my body. Everything felt heavy. Slowly I tried to move again. With all the strength I had in me, I turned onto my side. I touched my sleeping husband to share this special journey.
When you have had the first glimpses of a timeless space of your consciousness, I read, you begin to move back and forth between different dimensions of time. It is about a deep change of consciousness. As a sort of Caterpillar Never Enough I devoured several books on the esoteric level. I, once such a ‘down-to-earth girl’, now transformed into a very floaty type. Something I never thought possible.
Room for transformation and growth
There are times when things come to you and you are fine. Then everything seems to work and you have the wind in your sails. But these periods do not last forever. They alternate with periods of setback and failure. In which everything you have built falls apart and you have to let go of things to make room for transformation and growth. My first reaction is often to fight and keep the old. Cling and resisting. It is actually swimming against the current and that takes a lot of energy. You fight against life and this causes a lot of suffering. Recognizing this, I resigned myself and quickly put down my hatchet. I am closing this period of my life. So that there is room for growth, a new life, and perhaps a new world.
Creating a new world
But how do I share these new experiences? It’s almost impossible as it seems now. Such a different experience in a whole different world. Sometimes it seems as if I live in two different worlds at the same time. That one familiar world and the new one that I never consciously sought out. Which has arisen by itself with a different reality and knowledge. A knowing that my mind knows nothing about. Let alone understand. The old will not come back. I have to reinvent myself and surrender to the flow of life. Leaving the old behind. Just like the world we are all in right now. Everything is fleeting and we can create a new world together. I’m going already. Who else will follow too?
Pictures: Jose Meboer, creator of awareness